hot takes #1: shit i learned in 2025
Sometimes, when I'm bored and unhinged on the internet (this is what happens when I decide to take the entire month off under the guise of "healing from my hysterectomy") I will shitpost on Instagram (one of the only properties of Meta that I will occasionally use, only for the Stories feature because fuck giving them my DATA!!!!)
I wrote a short list on my stories, but I wanted to elaborate the lessons I've learned that somehow also become hot takes because no one asked me for these, and what I feel might be a bit controversial. Oh well. Haters gonna hate.
- At a certain point, trauma healing becomes more about the acknowledgment that these things happened to you and integrating that knowledge, rather than parsing through decades of processing (or not processing, if you're avoidant) to try to figure out how to move forward. I say this because I was chatting with my therapist about the process of healing from trauma, and we joked about how some of my older friends say that at a certain point, they realized how much work they did to "heal" from their trauma without realizing that it was most likely overkill. (Obviously this is not meant for everyone, and I'm being facetious in generalizing--but at some point repeated hashing over and "healing" becomes more harmful to the process at times, esp. if it triggers the client.)
- The internet loves a hater. Honestly, the majority of posts and e-mails that did the best were when I was bitching about something/someone. I think it's funny at times to see how viscerally... unkind (? I'm trying to pick some words but lmao) people can be when they're behind a screen.
- If you're under 30 (or a terrible communicator) and you're in my life, be thankful. I admire the bravado of people under the age of 30---and to be fair, I was pissed when people said this about me in my 20's... but I've had too many friendships and relationships with people under 30 that have failed miserably because of the lack of life experience and communication. The reality is, when you're under 30, you're still in an identity-seeking and ego-driven phase of your life. (Not that it's not true for people older than that, but you know what I mean. This means that people are still learning and making mistakes, but I am too old to educate people about how it means to relate to others.
- As someone who still loves kink and wants to get back into it after healing, hedonism is out. Intimacy and connection are in. I've learned whilst in community with others (though there is a difference from play spaces and kink centered ones) that if there's a huge emphasis on the excesses and decadence of the former, you most likely don't have the skills or capacity to succeed with the latter...
Those are a couple things I bitched about on stories today and it was awesome lmao ~
Anyway, these are some of my hot takes.
Enjoy x